


Obsessive Compulsive List-making aka 51 reasons why Sean loves Orlando

by afra_schatz



Category: Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: Domestic, Fluff, Humour, M/M, love declaration, mild ocd, obsessive list making
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-26
Updated: 2012-05-26
Packaged: 2017-11-06 01:47:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/413368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/afra_schatz/pseuds/afra_schatz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sean has a mild case of self-diagnosed (or rather Orlando-diagnosed) OCD. He likes to think of it as <s>keeping in control</s> passing the time by writing lists. Here's the one about loving Orlando.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Obsessive Compulsive List-making aka 51 reasons why Sean loves Orlando

**Author's Note:**

> This is a sequel to [Obsessive Compulsive Behaviour aka Love](http://afra-schatz.livejournal.com/229042.html) but despite some references it can be read as a standalone.

#1 - When Orlando is under-caffeinated and Sean asks him which tattoo he wants next Orlando doesn’t lift his head from the kitchen table. He mumbles, “Your name across my collar bone please oh please I beg you give me coffee” like it’s one word.

#2 - Orlando says about himself – publically and repeatedly – that he is terribly self-involved, and he usually smiles a little self-deprecatingly. Sean knows that smile is bullshit. Orlando isn’t ashamed of his egocentricity and Sean doesn’t think he should be.

#3 - Orlando believes Sean when Sean says he is going to stop smoking. He buys him patches and doesn’t even mention cigarettes in Sean’s presence for the three days it takes Sean to find an excuse to start again.

#4 - Orlando still is an utter lightweight when it comes to alcohol. Everyone knows that. But really Orlando hardly ever drinks a drop because he doesn’t like taking a cab home. So, instead he just acts like a totally shitfaced moron which in his case means even broader smiles, even more body contact and sharing embarrassing details about his puberty with the entire party. Sean’s the one who drinks and Sean’s the one who usually barely makes it into the car before Orlando drives them home.

#5 - Orlando is a sound sleeper. He barely wakes when Sean nudges his knees apart in the middle of the night. His breathing pattern changes subtly as Sean slowly pushes into him. He moans lowly when Sean nuzzles the back of his neck and starts thrusting but he doesn’t open his eyes. Blind trust and blind lust fuel Sean’s own desire.

#6 - Orlando still has the He-Man toy from Mc Donald’s that Sean bought him that one hot sleepless night in Malta.

#7 - Orlando laughs out loud at the stupid cartoons in the newspaper every single day.

#8 - Orlando kisses Sean when Sean doesn’t know what to say. Sometimes Sean looks at Orlando and he is sure he needs to tell him how much he means to him. But in his head there are too many words, words that sound over-the-top and are still just a string of understatements, words that demand to be repeated over and over until they sound odd, sentences that stumble and fall and bruise their knees because they ran too fast, were too eager to reach their destination. Before Sean can start stuttering and stammering that he believes there are no words Orlando leans in. He brushes his lips against Sean’s, his hand cups Sean’s cheek, he murmurs, ‘Me, too, darling.’

#9 - Orlando is still an awful poker player. He still hasn’t given up on himself though he even has tells when playing online poker, however he manages that. 

#10 - Orlando can always tell the difference between Sean’s moods, always knows when to offer to kiss it better and when to leave the country within the next half hour.

#11 - Orlando has gotten way better at playing ‘I spy’. Which is mostly due to him a. not pointing at the thing in question anymore and b. making up new names for things which makes it virtually impossible to guess them.

#11 - Orlando tells Sean that he loves him approximately 4.3 times a day. He compliments Sean on his arse 2.1 times, rolls his eyes amicably at Sean’s pernicketyness (which Sean still doubts is a proper word) 3.3 times a day. Sean made a chart.

#12 - Orlando doesn’t make fun of Sean when once again it takes Sean three days to pack a suitcase in a way that won’t make his pernickety self have a heart attack. For someone whose packing consists of stuffing his toothbrush into the backpocket of his jeans Orlando is infinitely patient.

#13 - Orlando still holds Sean’s hand whenever they are on a plane. He grips it the second they have fastened their seatbelts and only lets go when they have landed safely. In between his fingers play with the band around Sean’s ring finger, his thumb strokes over Sean’s soothingly.

#14 - Orlando plays matchmaker between people he met while filming. He introduces Dom to Johnny and the entire Western hemisphere threatens to implode, he introduces Keira to Hugh Dancy and sexual tension is crackling like fireworks. Not everyone is lucky enough to meet their perfect match not just once, but twice on a movie set.

#15 - Orlando can come up to six times a night. As a result he’s pretty much useless the entire following day and insists on holding an icepack to his crotch even when they happen to have guests. It’s still pretty awe-inspiring.

#16 - Orlando paints his toe-nails when he is bored, usually black. When it’s World Cup time tiny bottles of nail-polish in the colours of the Union Jack find their way onto the bathroom shelf.

#17 - Orlando is ridiculously arachnophobic. When he spots a spider he jumps onto the nearest higher surface and hollers for Sean on the top of his lungs. And there is honest to God adoration and hero-worship in his eyes when Sean has put a glass over the monster the size of a jaffa cake.

#18 - Orlando loves sex and has yet to say no to a suggestion Sean makes, however non-mainstream. He did say, ‘I don’t think that’s anatomically possible, darling’ once. The muscle Sean pulled in his thigh proved him right but they agreed it was still worth it.

#20 - Orlando can prepare spinach but that’s as far as his cooking skills go. But he eats whatever Sean puts in front of him, even if it should be a little burned or too hot.

#21 - Orlando is never offended when Sean calls him a bloody treacherous and selling out whore when the Blades happen to play on the same day as ManU and ManU is once again the only team scoring.

#22 - Orlando’s favourite insults for Sean are – in order of frequency of use: ‘Stubborn bastard’, ‘cunt’, ‘wanker’, ‘Northerner’ and ‘two-timing troglodyte’. The last one says less about Sean’s faithfulness (he doesn’t even stray in his thoughts and it scares him a little sometimes) and more about Orlando’s odd infatuation with Captain Haddock as of late.

#23 - Orlando charms the kitchen staff when they are both staying in the same hotel until every single member adores him. Just so Sean gets his bacon extra crispy in the morning and a good British meal in the evening, wherever they are.

#24 - Orlando gets lost in New York every single time he is there. Sean bought him a smartphone so he can navigate his way back to wherever he’s staying. Orlando still preferably calls Sean, no matter the time of day, and opens with ‘So, I’m in front of this skyscraper. Where are you?’.

#25 - Orlando doesn’t make Sean buy female hygiene products. Or any kind of hygiene products, come to think of it.

#26 - Orlando always forgets to bring back the books he checked out from the library. Sean has to do it for him and pay the overdue fine. Orlando is ridiculously thankful and offers to pay him back in sexual favours.

#27 - Orlando asks Sean to look at every movie script he considers maybe worth his time, despite Sean’s slightly questionable track record when it comes to picking roles for himself.

#28 - Orlando wrote Sean love letters when they were filming ‘Troy’. Well, they weren’t really letters, he wrote them on whichever scrap of paper he could get his hands on without having to get up from his chair during a shooting break. Also, he wrote them as Paris aka the Trojan sex addict which means that they entail less love declarations and more graphic descriptions of what Orlando wants to do to Sean’s arse. Sean still has all of them and sometimes he reads them to Orlando until Orlando nearly falls of the bed because he is laughing so hard. 

#29 - Orlando calls Sean on his bullshit. Loudly or with just an arched eyebrow, unrelentingly and directly and usually rightfully so.

#30 - Orlando has stopped forwarding Sean Brad’s links to porny fanart featuring Odysseus, Paris, Achilles and Achilles’s ‘spear of glory’ as Brad calls it.

#31 - Orlando gets massively twitchy when he’s overworked. It doesn’t show over the day because despite rumours to the contrary he has a self-control that outclasses any soldier’s. But in his sleep he shifts about ten times a minute. He only stops when Sean rolls on top of him and pins his arms down, buries his face in the crook of Orlando’s neck. Then Orlando stills and breathes ‘Sean’ in his sleep and it feels like ‘I need you’, means ‘I need you’.

#32 - Orlando is intensely self-indulgent and thinks it only fair if other people (Sean in particular) are, too. However, sometimes when Sean is just that little bit too deep in that swamp of needing-everything-to-be-perfect Orlando pulls him out by the collar and shakes some sense into him before dusting him off carefully. 

#33 - Orlando can get fiercely jealous from one moment to the other. His tone of voice suddenly is hard when addressing whoever Sean is talking to and he is telegraphing ‘piss off or else’ loud enough for the entire room to listen up. Sean’s not sure where that comes from, whether his own jealous streak has rubbed off, but he can’t help but feel pleased, relieved even.

#34 – Orlando’s most extreme reaction during a fight between them was to pour out Sean’s socks drawer. Measures more radical than that would have Sean’s OCD causing serious trouble. And for all his exuberance Orlando knows that, would never step over that line.

#35 - Orlando absolutely loves giving gifts. He’s intensely generous and donates huge chunks of his paychecks to charity, his friends receive cars or five star hotel vacations for their birthdays. When Orlando is away filming, Sean gets a gift in the mail practically every day. Orlando buys them on eBay, preferably used. Rather frequently Sean has no idea what prompted Orlando to get him, say, a broken Art Deco watch, a shower curtain with tanks on it, or a ratty edition of “A manual of etiquette in good society” from the 1870s. It’s a tiny, solid piece of Orlando’s considerate randomness on Sean’s doorstep every day and Sean doesn’t question it.

#36 - Orlando flirts with random people at parties and Sean hates it. He hates it and he can’t do anything against it. Orlando drops every stranger like a hot potatoe when Sean steps up to them. Even in a room filled with a hundred people it’s just the two of them again and the tension in Sean’s shoulders disappears.

#37 - Orlando honest to God has no gag reflex. He likes to show that off quite often. He swallows Sean down whole and sticks out his tongue, hot and wet and pressed against the underside of Sean’s cock. The look on his face is so complacent that Sean would call him a smug bastard if he wasn’t preoccupied.

#38 - Orlando owns about twenty pyjamas and other clothes perfectly suitable for wearing in bed. However, when in a hotel he claims he can only sleep when he’s wearing a terry cloth supersoft bathrobe. After a night of his usual twisting and turning and fighting anacondas in his sleep he always wakes up naked.

#39 - Orlando rarely refers to Sean by his given name when he’s talking to other people. Instead he calls him ‘the scruffy one’, ‘that Northerner’, ‘006’, ‘the missus’, ‘Mary Poppins’, ‘my footie hooligan’, ‘my considerably better half’, ‘the bloke with Tourette’s who I’m shagging’, ‘darling’ or ‘tall, blond and mine’. 

#40 - Orlando plays for hours with Sidi until they both fall asleep on the lawn, the dog draped across his master’s chest and Orlando cuddling him like a stuffed animal.

#41 - Orlando regularly bursts into the bathroom when Sean is brushing his teeth in the morning, claiming he can’t wait for five more minutes, he has to pee _now_. Sean pointed out once that someone urinating right next to him is maybe not the image he wants to start the day with. Orlando still comes in when Sean is brushing and he still pees. But he’s doing it with his eyes closed now, claiming he’s not even there. Sean can’t help but love Orlando’s sleepy attempt at logic and consideration as well as his miniature bladder.

#42 - Orlando’s an actor through and through. Some part of Sean’s roles always rubs off on him temporarily and when he tries to get into the right mindset he might not talk for days, become intensely irritable or so fussy it’s obsessive. Orlando notices, doesn’t comment, reacts accordingly and suddenly their house is an impromptu stage.

#43 - Orlando eats blueberries with a reverence like they are the last in the entire universe.

#44 - Orlando makes sure that the gardener, under no circumstances ever, touches Sean’s pruning shears or the rose bushes.

#45 - Orlando sometimes calls Sean late in the evening when either of them has been away on location for too long. He doesn’t want to talk, is usually too exhausted to. Sean puts the phone on speaker and goes back to whatever he was doing – washing up, watching football, reading the newspaper and muttering to himself – and Orlando, curled up in a bed on the other end of the world, just listens.

#46 - Orlando is not only the most handsome bloke Sean knows, he’s also the least vain. He doesn’t care what he wears, except that least one item on his body is usually nicked from Sean’s wardrobe. He also doesn’t give a shit what his hair looks like or what state the shrubbery on his face is in and he usually only showers when Sean tells him to. 

#47 - Orlando adores Sean’s daughters. He spoils them rotten and offers a shoulder to cry on when they are heartbroken, have trouble at school or just need to vent because their Dad is being an idiot again.

#48 - Orlando has never sold any of Sean‘s underwear on eBay even though he claims otherwise.

#49 - Orlando regularly ambushes Sean in the hallway when Sean comes back from filming. Sean has barely time to drop his bags before his back connects with the door and Orlando embraces him in a full-body hug, expecting him to hold him up.

# 50 - Sean still has these urges to write lists. When he’s really stressed out and desperately trying to get back in control his OCD occasionally gets the better of him. Sometimes he has to write entire exercise books full of the same two or three sentences. One afternoon he has reached page thirteen when Orlando slumps down on the bed next to him, holding a biro and an exercise book of his own. Orlando writes thirty two pages, all filled with just one sentence in his bold handwriting – _I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU_

#51 - Orlando loves Sean.


End file.
